The Linden

written and performed by Niko Donburi

On a warm summer's evening
on a train out of Chicago
I met up with a Linden
we were both too tired to sleep

So we took turns at trying
to sniff out someone's wi-fi
'til boredom overtook us
and he began to speak

He said, "You know, I've made living
being a grid monkey.
I helped debug the client
and the flexi-prim.
Phillip, he's a friend of mine,
and I know all his secrets
and if you promise not tell
I'll share some of them."

So I gave to him my promise
and he turned to his computer
found an unprotected node
and logged into Second Life
the lag was non-existent
and the rendering amazing
He said, "If you're going to play the game
you've got to use Windlight.

And you've got to know when to log in
know whom to IM
have a couple secret alts
and know which scripts to run.
Don't ever count your Lindens
while they're trading on the Lindex
they'll be time enough for counting
when the transfer's done.

Now every Linden knows
that if you want to turn a profit
make enough to pay your tier
and have a bunch to keep
you've got to buy land like Anshe
or peddle porn like Stroker
and the best job you can hope for
is with Electric Sheep."

And when he'd finished speaking,
he turned to his computer.
Logged out of Second Life
and put his laptop to sleep.
But just a few days later
that Linden, he was fired
for telling me them secrets
that I could not keep

You've got to know when to log in
know whom to IM
have a couple secret alts
and know which scripts to run.
Don't ever count your Lindens
while they're trading on the Lindex
they'll be time enough for counting
when the transfer's done.